Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

This poem has been on my mind lately. Perhaps it is because I am 30 and my nephew just had his third birthday party, but I just love this poem and I wanted to share. It's an array of happy thoughts and a great reminder to cherish the things that you love to do, no matter how simple they may be. Warning When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in the slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beer...

I have the Talking Heads stuck in my head this morning. Do you ever wake up and think, Is this real life? Am I really 30 and dealing with all of this? Today is one of those days...I always knew life was going to be challenging, but this past year has been one of the most challenging of all. It is second only to the year that I got my heart broken, my Mom had a heart attack and our family dog had to be put to sleep. 2008 kind of sucked as well. I'm glad we only have two months left of 2013. I am ready for some new beginnings. I always thought by now that I would have a husband and a family of my own, but life has really thrown me some curve balls. It's true that even the best laid plans don't work out the way that you want them to. I am trying so hard to be strong and give things up to God, but that is a difficult thing to do as well. I pray constantly throughout the day and I hope that God is listening. I know that no matter how much I want things to work out, he has a plan...

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed this week, but I'm trying to work through it. I knew that completing my Masters degree was not going to be a walk in the part, but I really added a lot of stress when I decided to switch jobs the same year that Common Core Standards, SLO's and my fiance was hospitalized all simultaneously. Luckily, Ben is doing well...everything else is crazy busy! I have a lot to do for this internship and I feel incredibly behind. I keep trying to squeeze in more meetings or more observations, but when I spend 4 hours on Sunday grading artwork and not even getting an ounce of planning done for the week, I can't seem to figure out when to add in those extra 160 hours that I need to accomplish by December! I know it will all fall into place, it just seems daunting right now. Aside from all of the grad school and job business, I am starting to feel like I'm growing up and not trying to be such a people-pleaser all the time. I've been doing a lot ...

I realized today that I have less than 30 days before I turn 30 years old. My birthday is October 16th. This means I have approximately 28 days to accomplish some goals that I've been toying with. That just doesn't seem like enough time. I've decided to create a 30 before 31 list instead. Here it goes: 1. Pay for someone's coffee behind me at Starbucks. 2. Send a handwritten note to a friend at least once per month. 3. Brush up on my Spanish. 4. Run a half marathon. 5. Go Camping. 6. Visit a new state. 7. Go to the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum. 8. Finger paint with my nephew. 9. Watch The Passion of the Christ. 10. Go meatless for a week. 11. Take an art class for pleasure, not for teaching. 12. Read "Life in Times of Cholera." 13. Dine at an upscale DC restaurant. 14. Go on a hike. 15. Take a day trip to NYC. 16. Eat at Serendipity. 17. Ride on a Ferris Wheel. 18. Volunteer at the Humane Society. 19. Try stand-up paddleboarding. 20. Learn h...

As most of you probably know by now, Ben is going through some pretty serious health issues. As a result of this, we have decided to postpone our wedding so that he can take some time to heal and we can get married when things slow down a bit. This has all given me a lot of perspective. I have started truly prioritizing. I realized that over the past few years I have gotten so caught up in work and making money and figuring out how to lose weight that I have neglected the things that are truly important. As you've seen me discuss before, mental and emotional health are something that I care deeply about. I realized that I have been neglecting my own mental and emotional health lately. I think I am finally seeing clearly now that I need to spend more time focusing on my family, my blessings, my friends and the things that I enjoy in life rather than trying to change the imperfections. I am starting to understand that I need to let go of some of the control I've tried to have a...

Well, I had my first fitting today and I wish I could say it was perfect and amazing, but I just feel disappointed in myself. I really thought I would be thinner and feel better by now in the dress. Perhaps I have watched too many wedding shows, but everyone talks about having this feeling and just knowing that dress was meant for you...blah, blah, blah. I just don't feel like I've felt that way. I'm trying my best to be excited about wearing the dress, but it's just not happening. It's incredibly frustrating to have these doubts about myself and I don't want my insecurities to ruin the day for me or Ben. I always said that I would just have a small ceremony and then throw a big party. I feel like that's what I'm doing, but the dressing up part just doesn't feel like me. I have admired my beautiful friends and wanted that "bride" feeling. It's just not hitting me. I wish it was easier to see myself through other people's eyes. It...

I'm finally starting to notice the results of my hard work. I know that I had lost inches and lbs before, but my clothes are actually starting to feel a little loose! It makes me so happy to finally be able to feel the results of all of this. I have to be honest, my eating habits have not been perfect, but I think that the working out is definitely helping me to stay on track. The only problem I'm having is that now I need some new clothes and money is a bit of an issue. Oh well, that's a good problem to have :-) I'll just throw on a belt and go with it! I can't wait to try on my wedding dress again to see if I need to get it taken in. That would definitely be another confidence booster. I hope all of you are trying to keep yourselves healthy as well!