Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

I've had a lot on my mind this week and I feel like I need to put it out to the universe. I recently lost a very good friend. She didn't die or move away or anything. It just came to a point where we needed to be out of one another's lives. This situation has caused me to do a lot of reflecting on myself. I'm a brooder. I always have been and probably always will be; however, I believe that with everything I've had going on the past few years, I have tried extremely hard to be positive and get on with my life. Sure, I have days that are horrible and days that are wonderful, but I think everyone goes through ups and downs. This friend that I lost said that "my negativity had been pushing her away for a while." This just made me think about the past few years and whether or not I have been negative. I certainly don't wake up in the morning and think "I'm going to be miserable today," but I do have mornings where it feels like the weight o...

I was just reading an article before I went to bed last night called "Happy at work." It is in Real Simple magazine. There were tips about making your job "more likeable" and "even fun." To be honest, I do have fun doing my job. I love working with kids and generally feel like I am making a positive impact in their lives; especially since starting the mentor program. However, there are so many things that I have absolutely no control over in my profession. There were a ton of tips about "how to get a fatter paycheck, a promotion, a more flexible schedule," etc., etc. These are all things that are completely out of my control. As a teacher, you are pretty much at the mercy of your union. I have stood up for myself and my colleagues by speaking at our hearings and attending budget meetings, but I feel utterly frustrated with the concept that all of us, effective or not, are lumped into the same general category. I so desperately want to be in contr...

I have been discussing with my Quest students this week how we have choices in controlling our emotions. We all have the ability to choose our reactions to external events. While I know that this is true, I just don't feel super in control of my emotions right now. Perhaps I am still stuck in adolescence when it comes to handling my feelings. I'm not sure why, but I have always been incredibly self-critical. It's an annoying trait that I wish I could fix. I remember being hard on myself even in Elementary School. As a teacher, we sometimes have to fill out surveys on our students with IEPs or 504 plans. One question that always reminds me of myself is "cannot get a scolding out of his or her mind."I feel like I'm a dweller. When I make a mistake or take action on something and it doesn't go the way I had hoped, I over-analyze and dwell on that thing until it drives me crazy. I am working on trying to let things go a little more, but it seems tough right ...

This may seem silly, but I watched an episode of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" this evening that just struck a chord with me. Seeing Khloe go through filing for a divorce because of Lamar's choice to stick with his addiction over her was very hard to watch, but I could definitely relate. It is so incredibly hard to put all of your effort into one person and one relationship for such a long period of time only to have it fall apart. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something to work, it just isn't in the cards. Her Mom said that she needed to focus on herself and "get happy again." I feel like that is what I've been working on for the past 6 months or so. Last year, I was in such a dark place financially and in my job. I thought I had an amazing relationship, but when that fell apart too I thought that I would just break. I felt like I was giving and giving and giving and nothing was coming back in return. However, I think I am starting to recov...

My mind has been racing all day and I was just watching "World News" with Diane Sawyer. This episode sparked my desire to write about addiction. There has been a ton of coverage about Philip Seymour Hoffman's overdose. There was a story on this news program about the heroin epidemic in our country. Apparently there are over 600,000 people addicted to heroin. This is sad and troubling. I have been personally affected by another type of addiction: alcoholism. I always thought that if someone I knew and loved had an addiction that I would be able to tell and that I'd be able to help them. That simply isn't the case. I can tell you for a fact that there are millions of "functioning" addicts in our midst and they are truly struggling internally. It's easy to judge someone with an addiction when you've never experienced it first-hand. I have never been addicted to anything myself and I don't have a great understanding as to how people become addict...

"Be what you would have your pupils be. All other teaching is unblessed mockery." -Thomas Carlyle This is a quote that my pastor shared during her sermon this morning. Her words struck a chord with me. I have always loved Pastor Sandy's sermons and teachings. She is a former teacher herself and has been a great influence on my life for the past 10 years or so. I found out that she will be retiring in July, which made me a little sad, but I am thankful and blessed to have been inspired by her words and her actions. A lot of our service today revolved around teaching and being a disciple. Sometimes in life, there are these moments where you just have an epiphany. When I was listening to her stories and the bible verses we read today, I realized that I truly am doing what I was meant to do. I struggle sometimes with whether I want to stick with teaching, but I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. Pastor Sandy shared another story about a graduate study done at John...

"It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home." -Nick Hornby, High Fidelity We're going on the third snow day in a row. As a teacher, these are the kind of things I live for! Don't get me wrong, I really do love my job (especially this year...last year was a s%*$show!); however, it is really nice to have extra time to get your grading done, plan your lessons, watch a few movies, and even catch up on reading a book or magazine. When you're a teacher, you get so consumed by work that you forget about living a little sometimes. Everyone needs a day or two to just breathe and relax. Anyway, let's get back to the title of this post: High Fidelity . This just happens to be one of my top 5, all time, most favorite movies. (Others include Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, What Dreams May Come, and Bridesmaids .) It combines a lot of my favorite things: relationships, J...