Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

Well, it's official, I'm an old married woman!...and I couldn't be happier about it. Today is my official one year anniversary. Around this time last year, I was heading to the salon that Ben and I bumped into each other at after losing touch to get my hair and makeup done for our big day. I am attempting not to be cheesy or sappy, but frankly, I don't give a damn if you think I am. I feel like Elf, "I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" Ben and I were fortunate enough to spend some time in National Harbor to celebrate our anniversary on Tuesday evening. We reflected on our first year over dinner. Most people tell you that marriage doesn't change things. I would agree with that in the aspect that it doesn't fix your problems or turn you into a monster; however, there is this sense of security that you just don't experience when you're simply "dating" or "living together." There is also a stat...

I am feeling frustrated and discouraged today...I know, a complete 180 from yesterday. This is the story of my life. I decided to try to be creative to let go of what's bothering me. Here is the result: Every teacher in their classroom fears Christmas a lot. Each student is off task from high school to small tot. Teachers love Christmas, the whole Christmas season, but the week before Christmas is feared for many reasons. It could be, perhaps, that benchmarks are plenty Or maybe it's that our classes are jam-packed with students - 10 plus 20! But I think that the most likely reason of all Is that administrators and superintendents are roaming the hall They're expecting us all to teach, teach, teach, teach... Keep them all on task until 3:07 they preach! Make sure that the lessons are rigorous and educational Their ideas are lofty...some might say sensational I would just ask that for a moment they pause and remember that sometimes kids just need Santa C...

Today was all at once a fabulous day and a crappy day. Just as I was feeling flustered sitting in a meeting and trying to remember to breathe because even middle schoolers get a bit nuts at Christmas time, I was called down to the office. I immediately wondered what they had to tell me that they couldn't say over the phone. My brain went through every awful piece of news that someone could reveal to me...someone was in a car accident, there was a medical emergency, someone died, etc. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn that I was selected as one of the Walmart "Teachers of the Year." 3 other teachers at our school received this award, but it was pretty damn awesome to be recognized for working hard and going above and beyond. I won a $50 gift card to Walmart for "school supplies and nutritious snacks." It was pretty great news to receive toward the end of the day and before Christmas. Then, after I returned from receiving this award, the 8th grade ...

As this is the season of Thanks, I am trying incredibly hard to focus on all of the blessings that I have in my life right now. It's been a tough week. I was fortunate enough to be able to take my Mom with me to NC last weekend for my grandparent-in-law's 60th wedding anniversary party. My husband got stuck working, so she filled in for him that way I didn't have to go alone. I am so thankful that she did. It was a beautiful party and it was so nice to spend time with my in-laws. They really are fabulous. I feel like I belong which is always nice. The only tough thing was that they had a christening for their first great-grandchild at the party. It was beautiful, but very tough for me. Initially, I didn't think I would be bothered...I mean, I am happy that Ben's cousin has been able to expand his family, I had just hoped that Ben and I would have our first child this year too. It hit me a lot harder than I thought. I held it together, but I didn't want to get cl...

I had been lying in bed for an hour or so just staring at the red light on my TV. I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my brain and I felt like I needed to write some of them down. I feel so troubled by everything that has occurred in our world over the past few weeks/months. I hate that the new topic of conversation among my students is a threat from a terrorist group on Washington D.C. I have been trying to assure them that our world is sort of like Men In Black right now. "There is always going to be some Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that's about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they do not know about it!" (Agent K) I want them to be able to live their lives without worrying about those threats. That quote has resonated with me...as cheesy as it may sound. As soon as we hear news that someone has officially threatened our...

I am feeling much more like myself (I think I can say that-it's like Sarah 2.0) this week.  I met with my Dr. a week and a half ago and in the midst of balling my eyes out and trying to convey to her how I was feeling, she calmly told me that it is not my fault that I'm feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. Those of us who truly suffer from anxiety and depression cannot prevent those feelings rationally on our own. There is a chemical imbalance and I shouldn't feel bad about it. (Thank God for her!) We decided that my best course of action (regardless of trying to get pregnant) was to get back on some medicine. I can already feel a difference in my stress and energy levels. I hate admitting that I'm not strong enough to get through life without a bit of help from a pill, but it's the truth...and if it makes me feel more motivated and less out of control then I am going to have to accept it. The baby business is still in the back of my mind, but I don't feel lik...

I have been struggling this weekend. I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep any night this week and I know stress is the culprit. I finally felt able to relax last night, but as soon as I woke up this morning I felt like I was on the verge of tears again. I realize that my last post was about choosing to be happy and choosing to leave stress at work; however, my body just keeps betraying me. **Just a heads up that some of this may be TMI.** My mind has been trying to calm the rest of me, but it isn't working. I am really having a hard time this month about baby stuff. Not only did all of my ovulation tests come up negative this month, I am now not getting a period at all. This is NOT helping with my choice to try not to be stressed out. I am grinding my teeth, biting holes in my cheeks, getting frequent stomach aches, headaches, and generally feeling worn down. I feel like I may cry at the drop of a hat on a regular basis and I have been trying to make myself work out to...