Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

A lot has happened since my last post. Most of you know by now that Ben and I are expecting our first child in October. I can't describe what an incredible blessing it is to finally have our dreams of becoming parents closer to being a reality. However; I also struggle daily with my nerves and anxiety. I can't explain the amount of relief I feel when the Dr. finds the heartbeat at our appointments (it's happened twice so far!). Being a women in general is such a roller coaster, but after having a miscarriage, I feel like being pregnant is even bumpier than my previous life. I think it's normal for all women to have a fear of the unknown: will it all work out, will the baby be healthy, even though I've made it through the first trimester should I still be worried...these are things that run through my brain daily. I also struggle with feeling guilty for sharing my "woes" about being sick or tired or feeling off when I still have friends who have been unab...

I have had a lot on my mind this weekend/week. A friend of ours, who was just 38 years old, passed away on Friday night. I can't imagine the pain, shock, and frustration that her family must be experiencing right now. I was speechless when I heard about her passing. I have to be honest that I had a hard time accepting the truth from her when I was going through a tough time. However, being the amazing and patient person that she was, she was forgiving, understanding, and supportive during one of the toughest times in my life. I will forever be grateful to her for that. Due to this news occurring prior to the Superbowl and its multitude of controversy, I have just looked at things from a unique perspective. I have seen a plethora of hateful Facebook statuses and media coverage as well as positive messages and support for the events of the Superbowl...I am referring both to the halftime show and Cam Newton's reaction to the loss. The messages of hate regarding the "gay-...

So, today was my third snow day in a row (score!). I spent a lot of the day cleaning, coloring, and walking. I also perused Facebook quite a bit as I am inclined to do when I have free time. I have been inspired by a friend from college who is also writing a blog. (Thanks Nicole!) She has decided to bare it all and be extremely honest and up front about how she is feeling and what she is going through. I greatly appreciate that. Too often, we portray ourselves as these perfect, happy, wonderful personalities on social media when really we are struggling inside. I don't think this helps anyone...most importantly ourselves. I appreciate when people are their genuine selves, even when I don't always agree with them. I think it takes a lot of guts to stick to your gut and express your feelings whether they are good or bad. You learn a lot from your struggle and the struggle of others and I enjoy reading and hearing about other people's lives. In that same vein, I am going thr...

Well, it's official, I'm an old married woman!...and I couldn't be happier about it. Today is my official one year anniversary. Around this time last year, I was heading to the salon that Ben and I bumped into each other at after losing touch to get my hair and makeup done for our big day. I am attempting not to be cheesy or sappy, but frankly, I don't give a damn if you think I am. I feel like Elf, "I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" Ben and I were fortunate enough to spend some time in National Harbor to celebrate our anniversary on Tuesday evening. We reflected on our first year over dinner. Most people tell you that marriage doesn't change things. I would agree with that in the aspect that it doesn't fix your problems or turn you into a monster; however, there is this sense of security that you just don't experience when you're simply "dating" or "living together." There is also a stat...

I am feeling frustrated and discouraged today...I know, a complete 180 from yesterday. This is the story of my life. I decided to try to be creative to let go of what's bothering me. Here is the result: Every teacher in their classroom fears Christmas a lot. Each student is off task from high school to small tot. Teachers love Christmas, the whole Christmas season, but the week before Christmas is feared for many reasons. It could be, perhaps, that benchmarks are plenty Or maybe it's that our classes are jam-packed with students - 10 plus 20! But I think that the most likely reason of all Is that administrators and superintendents are roaming the hall They're expecting us all to teach, teach, teach, teach... Keep them all on task until 3:07 they preach! Make sure that the lessons are rigorous and educational Their ideas are lofty...some might say sensational I would just ask that for a moment they pause and remember that sometimes kids just need Santa C...

Today was all at once a fabulous day and a crappy day. Just as I was feeling flustered sitting in a meeting and trying to remember to breathe because even middle schoolers get a bit nuts at Christmas time, I was called down to the office. I immediately wondered what they had to tell me that they couldn't say over the phone. My brain went through every awful piece of news that someone could reveal to me...someone was in a car accident, there was a medical emergency, someone died, etc. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn that I was selected as one of the Walmart "Teachers of the Year." 3 other teachers at our school received this award, but it was pretty damn awesome to be recognized for working hard and going above and beyond. I won a $50 gift card to Walmart for "school supplies and nutritious snacks." It was pretty great news to receive toward the end of the day and before Christmas. Then, after I returned from receiving this award, the 8th grade ...

As this is the season of Thanks, I am trying incredibly hard to focus on all of the blessings that I have in my life right now. It's been a tough week. I was fortunate enough to be able to take my Mom with me to NC last weekend for my grandparent-in-law's 60th wedding anniversary party. My husband got stuck working, so she filled in for him that way I didn't have to go alone. I am so thankful that she did. It was a beautiful party and it was so nice to spend time with my in-laws. They really are fabulous. I feel like I belong which is always nice. The only tough thing was that they had a christening for their first great-grandchild at the party. It was beautiful, but very tough for me. Initially, I didn't think I would be bothered...I mean, I am happy that Ben's cousin has been able to expand his family, I had just hoped that Ben and I would have our first child this year too. It hit me a lot harder than I thought. I held it together, but I didn't want to get cl...