Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

So I am feeling a bit like a crazy person this week. I have so many thoughts running through my brain constantly and I seem unable to sort them all out. This post may be a bit all over the place. I apologize in advance. The main thing weighing on me is finding childcare for my daughter. In general, I absolutely hate feeling like I am burdening others with my existence or my problems. I know that my family members enjoy taking care of the baby, but I can't help but feel like I'm taking advantage of them. However, I am completely terrified to leave my daughter in the care of someone that I don't know. We are currently researching two potential daycare facilities for her, but my anxiety is at an all-time high about it. My stomach is in knots and it did not help that I read about a daycare in our county that had two children (ages 2 and 3 respectively) escape - for lack of a better word. They were found wandering down a street close by the daycare. This, of course, sparked a ...

Look back over the course of this blog, it seems that I write a lot when things are hard for me. I know that may not always be the happiest thing for people to read, but I process what I'm feeling much better through writing. I used to seek solace in drawing or artwork, but the past few years of my life, writing seems to satisfy my soul a bit more. Today, I learned that a friend lost her teenage son. While I have absolutely no idea what the circumstances were, my heart just breaks for her and her family. My earliest memory of experiencing death was when two classmates of mine were killed in a car accident in high school. I have never understood why young lives are yanked away so quickly or in such horrific manners. I remember being angry and sad and confused that God could let something like this happen. The same feelings arose again later in my life when a close friend's sister was also killed in a car accident. Part of me still feels this way when I hear about someone losin...

Well, I am happy to report that I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl on Tuesday October 11th. It was a pretty scary day actually, but it had the best results! I wanted to share my story with you and express how absolutely amazing Anne Arundel Medical Center is! I went into labor while teaching classes on Tuesday (for those who don't know, I teach 6-8th grade art so it was an interesting experience - my students were pretty understanding, but I hope I didn't worry them too much!). Around 11am, my contractions began to be around 5-6 minutes apart consistently. I called my Doctor during my planning period to see if I should come in or continue working. She said she wanted me to wait until my contractions were 3 minutes apart for 2 hours. Since this was my first baby, I guess they weren't concerned with her coming early, but it made me nervous. My contractions continued to get worse and by 6th period, they were only a little over 2 minutes apart so I called my Dr back. The ...

I have had Salt n Pepa's "None of Your Business" stuck in my head since yesterday. In case you don't know what people say about opinions, they're like a$%holes. Everybody's got one. I have been trying to take people's unsolicited advice and opinions with a grain of salt, but I've got to be honest, I'm getting a bit sick of people feeling like just because I have a baby bump that they are free to discuss my choices about birthing, breastfeeding, and other personal topics even if they are complete strangers. I will say that it's one thing if I'm already discussing something and I've put it out there. I realize that opens me up for feedback (desired or not). However, when I am sitting at lunch trying to discuss Labor Day plans and someone interjects with "Are you planning to breastfeed? You should totally do XYZ." Umm...thanks, but no thanks. I don't recall asking for your opinion about what I will do with my breasts curren...

I have so many things on my mind and in my heart and I'm not sure what else to do but write them down. This week has been hard for all of us; at least I'd like to think that if you are a human being, you have been impacted or touched by the recent events in the news. We had a guest speaker for our sermon at church today and she discussed a passage from Luke chapter 9 in which Jesus gets a bit impatient with the people who want to follow him. She made some great points about how we need to stop being distracted by our past or our own personal issues and just commit to being a part of God's kingdom. In addition, she challenged us to DO something about the issues that we are experiencing as a society. Stand up for others whose voices are being drowned out and stop trying to make other people agree with your opinions without being open to seeing things from their perspective. We all need to love a little more, hate a lot less, and provide each other with support and understan...

I feel incredibly blessed to be carrying a baby girl right now; however, all of the news stories in the past week have me really struggling with what kind of world I am bringing her into. The most recent story of the shooting in Orlando just breaks my heart. I have always had a hard time processing how someone can hate another group of people so much simply for their religion, the color of their skin, their sexual preference, etc. It just seems that our world is becoming more and more hateful each day and that scares me. All I know is that I want  my girl to grow up feeling loved, being tolerant and accepting of others, and spreading positive energy. I want her to feel safe and to know that there is justice in the world...even when I can't quite see it myself. I never thought of myself as a feminist until I was in college and I read/saw/participated in the play The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. I was quite moved to be a part of this amazing movement about ending violence again...

So last night, I found myself wide awake at 1:30am with a million coaching-related thoughts running through my brain. I tried to breathe and shut it out, but it just didn't happen. I did what my Dad always told me helped him. I got up and wrote a "brain dump." I just wrote down everything that I was thinking about. I'm not sure that it made everything better, but it certainly calmed my stress and anxiety enough that I could go back to bed without tossing and turning every few minutes. Being a teacher and coach is a stressful position to be in, especially toward the end of the school year. Over the past week or so, I have found myself second-guessing a lot of my decisions. I don't like to be in that place mentally; however, I am also self-critical by nature on top of being a people-pleaser, so I find myself overthinking everything most of the time. It's a blessing and a curse. On one hand I think it makes me a better person and a better employee. I hold mysel...