Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

So, I am sitting here in tears and I don't know how to deal with my flood of emotions other than to write. I don't know if any of it will make sense, but I have to get it out. I have been thinking a lot about Nelson Mandela, apartheid, leadership, and how to make this world a better place. Mandela said "If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner." I have been trying to make sense of this. I feel incredibly fortunate to have known someone who lived through apartheid as a child in Pretoria, South Africa. When I was a camp counselor in college, we had multiple coworkers from a variety of countries around the world. Hoops made a massive impact on me as a 20-something white chick from the suburbs. Her unique perspective about growing up in a place where diversity was not accepted and she had to move from place to place in secret with her Mom opened my eyes to how much hate can hurt. Even though it had been ma

I am having a little conflict with myself lately. I am still 15 lbs away from what I weighed prior to having baby Aurora and this is frustrating me. However, if I am being completely honest with myself, I am not really doing anything about it. I am coming to the realization that I HATE summer. I don't hate being off work and I don't hate spending a lot of time with my daughter, but I HATE the heat and humidity. If I had the choice of going outside for a walk up and down the hills in my neighborhood while pushing the stroller or putting my hand in the oven for 30 seconds, I think I'd choose the latter. I am in a constant state of second-guessing myself. Do I put my 9 month old in the stroller slathered with sunscreen, in a hat that she hates and let her sweat it out so that I can get in some exercise or do we just stay inside and play? Staying inside and playing has most definitely been winning lately. We have been to the pool a few times, but this is not quite an aerobic

Our last day of school for the year was on Friday, but I am currently participating in three days of curriculum writing at the Board of Ed. While this may sound rather monotonous, it's actually been nice to work with my colleagues and compare ideas and methodologies. We don't get to do that often enough. It's also been great getting to share our happy stories about our kids and families. I haven't written a ton of happy blog entries this year, but I feel like I have to share how much I adore my little one. I am ecstatic that on Thursday, we get to spend approximately 80 days together uninterrupted by work! While I feel like the school year took a lifetime to end, I am so happy that I finally get to have quality time with my peanut over the next few months. This is the longest summer break I think I have had since I started teaching 11 years ago. It's even more time off than I got for my maternity leave! I am counting my blessings for that one and thanking Mr. Larr

My soul is hurting today. I woke up this morning stressed about trying to get my hundreds of students to stay focused in the midst of PARCC testing and 5 days left of school; however, when I got in my car and turned on my radio, I learned about LeBron James' home getting spray painted with the n-word, a noose being found at the Smithsonian African-American History Museum, and the United States making another move against science and improving the environment. I feel a bit like a deflated balloon. Not one that got popped, just one that had a slow leak and is finally starting to crumple onto itself. Last week, I had a terrible Friday. I had posted a funny video about teaching and feeling worn out and someone took it upon themselves to tell me that it "screamed school choice" and "no one wants to listen to folks whining about their work when they have every summer off, every weekend, every holiday, etc. Try doing it all year, 24/7, 365 and give the rest of us a call.&

I have had a million and one thoughts racing through my head over the past 24 hours. I learned yesterday that a former student of mine committed suicide on Thursday. His birthday would've been today. I can't even begin to imagine what his family is going through and I am seeing my other former students, his friends, processing this whole awful situation. It has got me reflecting on how we got to this point. This is the second teen that I've known this year that has taken his own life. That is two too many. I never want my students, my friend's children or my own daughter to feel so helpless that they think ending their existence is the only way out. I originally became a teacher because I wanted to help students and make a difference in the world. I am beginning to notice more and more that we are so focused on data, statistics and results that we neglect the mental and emotional well-being of our students. They are bombarded daily with social media, instant access

So I am feeling a bit like a crazy person this week. I have so many thoughts running through my brain constantly and I seem unable to sort them all out. This post may be a bit all over the place. I apologize in advance. The main thing weighing on me is finding childcare for my daughter. In general, I absolutely hate feeling like I am burdening others with my existence or my problems. I know that my family members enjoy taking care of the baby, but I can't help but feel like I'm taking advantage of them. However, I am completely terrified to leave my daughter in the care of someone that I don't know. We are currently researching two potential daycare facilities for her, but my anxiety is at an all-time high about it. My stomach is in knots and it did not help that I read about a daycare in our county that had two children (ages 2 and 3 respectively) escape - for lack of a better word. They were found wandering down a street close by the daycare. This, of course, sparked a