Mind, Body and Soul Manifestations

I would just like to thank the two gentlemen who, as they exited the liquor store and passed by me on my way in to the grocery store were gawking at me and said to one another, "Now that girl got a butt!" Not only did it make me laugh, it gave me a little perspective. I have been in a self-loathing phase for a while and was feeling rather down on myself this morning. Sometimes I forget that not everyone wants a stick-thin, Gwenyth Paltrow-type. There are people out there who appreciate curves. (Thank God for those people!) Also, I had just come from the gym where I had to get off of my machine just 15 minutes in because my ankles were killing me. I was quite flustered and although the comment might not have been intended for me to hear, it certainly made me feel better. I need to remember that being "thick" is not such a terrible thing. Although I'm still taking this weight loss stuff one day at a time, it helps to keep in mind that I'm not a disgusting mess...

I have kind of fallen off the wagon this week/weekend. I was a little off last week because my schedule was nuts, but I had managed to do yoga in the mornings. However, this weekend I ended up with a head cold that knocked me on my ass! I had zero energy to do anything but sleep. My Mom and Ben told me I needed to take care of myself and rest, so that's what I did. I did go back to work today, but am still feeling pretty terrible. Everyone that I've talked to says that whatever this stupid cold is, it does not go away quickly! Anyway, I went from being bedridden to walking around all day in dress pants...so now I have this wonderful chafing happening on my thighs. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know that my loving fiance proudly googled "fat thighs" to prove to me that mine are not "fat," but let me tell you that chafing certainly does not make one feel thin. I have not figured out why this phenomenon has started happening, but I am really ...

In my best Ice Cube voice, "Today was a good day." I have been waking up a half an hour earlier this week to do a morning yoga practice every day. (I know it's only been 3 days, but that's a good track record for me so far!) It's amazing the difference it makes in my day. Although I certainly have not been stress-free, today was the first day I felt positive and more at peace with myself. I'm taking baby steps toward feeling better and becoming healthier and a yoga practice every morning is definitely a step in the right direction! I'm not beating myself up about my imperfect calorie goals this week. I'm just going to be happy that I made one major positive change that I KNOW I can stick with. :-)

The past couple of weeks have been rough. I took a step back to reflect on what has been holding me back from sticking to my work outs and healthy eating habits. I know that one factor is that I've switched anti-depressants. I have only been on the new one for about a week. My system always takes a minute to get to feeling like itself again after adjusting medications. I've got to stop beating myself up about it and just try to push through. Stress at work has definitely been a factor, but I've got to keep working on leaving work at work. I get so caught up sometimes in what is happening at my job that it's all I can think about. I have to find other things to occupy my time when I get home. This past weekend I got to hang out with some friends I hadn't seen in quite a while. It was really good to catch up. I think that's another thing I've been missing. I'm trying to do all of this on my own. I forget to reach out to my friends. I'm always worried...