Progress, Not Perfection
I have recently begun attending Alanon meetings. For those of you who aren't familiar, this is the organization for families of alcoholics. It is a wonderful fellowship of people who support one another spiritually, emotionally, and anonymously. This organization has had a major impact on my outlook on life. I think that everyone could benefit from the program! The twelve steps of the program are something that I am still learning and figuring out, but Step Six was most recently discussed. It states "We're entirely ready to have God remove all those defects of character." This is a powerful thing. I know for a fact that I am not perfect, but to really sit down and think about my personal character defects and then give them over to God seems like a pretty daunting task.
One defect that I know I possess is the lack of ability to accept the fact that I cannot control certain situations. We say the serenity prayer a lot and, as a teacher, I repeat it in my mind on a regular basis! I say the words, but I am not truly thinking about giving up control of the things that I cannot change. I talk to God a lot, but I don't think I am truly giving my problems, character defects, worries, etc. over to him. This is something that I am looking forward to working on.
I feel like after thinking about this for a while, and making progress to accept the fact that I cannot control others' reactions to my opinions, beliefs, statements, and actions, I have felt lighter. There is a weight that I carry around often. I like to burden myself with other people's perceptions of me or dwell on their reactions to what I say or do. I am slowly but surely learning to let it go. It's an difficult concept, but one that is well worth the effort.
I know that what I can control is how I act toward myself. Now, in my thirties, I am finally starting to appreciate myself, my whole self, not just the parts that I sort of like, but all of me. I am more accepting of the fact that I am not going to be "perfect" in anyone else's eyes and to strive for that is just setting myself up for failure. Another quote that really stuck with me from Alanon was "Progress, Not Perfection." What a great thought. No one can be expected to be perfect. That puts a whole lot of pressure on us. I know that since I was a kid, I have struggled with allowing myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I haven't always had the greatest self esteem and I caused myself a lot of anxiety trying to be the perfect daughter or the perfect friend or the perfect teacher. I am now starting to understand that forward progress is so much more important than this idea of perfection.
The dictionary defines perfection as "the condition, state, or quality of being free, or as free as possible, from all flaws or defects." Personally, I think our flaws and defects are what make us human. They make us interesting, albeit a bit crazy at times, but I think as long as you are working on trying to be the best self you can be, that is what matters. That is my next step - to continue striving to be the best Sarah that I can, whatever that looks like.
One defect that I know I possess is the lack of ability to accept the fact that I cannot control certain situations. We say the serenity prayer a lot and, as a teacher, I repeat it in my mind on a regular basis! I say the words, but I am not truly thinking about giving up control of the things that I cannot change. I talk to God a lot, but I don't think I am truly giving my problems, character defects, worries, etc. over to him. This is something that I am looking forward to working on.
I feel like after thinking about this for a while, and making progress to accept the fact that I cannot control others' reactions to my opinions, beliefs, statements, and actions, I have felt lighter. There is a weight that I carry around often. I like to burden myself with other people's perceptions of me or dwell on their reactions to what I say or do. I am slowly but surely learning to let it go. It's an difficult concept, but one that is well worth the effort.
I know that what I can control is how I act toward myself. Now, in my thirties, I am finally starting to appreciate myself, my whole self, not just the parts that I sort of like, but all of me. I am more accepting of the fact that I am not going to be "perfect" in anyone else's eyes and to strive for that is just setting myself up for failure. Another quote that really stuck with me from Alanon was "Progress, Not Perfection." What a great thought. No one can be expected to be perfect. That puts a whole lot of pressure on us. I know that since I was a kid, I have struggled with allowing myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I haven't always had the greatest self esteem and I caused myself a lot of anxiety trying to be the perfect daughter or the perfect friend or the perfect teacher. I am now starting to understand that forward progress is so much more important than this idea of perfection.
The dictionary defines perfection as "the condition, state, or quality of being free, or as free as possible, from all flaws or defects." Personally, I think our flaws and defects are what make us human. They make us interesting, albeit a bit crazy at times, but I think as long as you are working on trying to be the best self you can be, that is what matters. That is my next step - to continue striving to be the best Sarah that I can, whatever that looks like.
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