You know what they say about opinions...
I have had Salt n Pepa's "None of Your Business" stuck in my head since yesterday. In case you don't know what people say about opinions, they're like a$%holes. Everybody's got one. I have been trying to take people's unsolicited advice and opinions with a grain of salt, but I've got to be honest, I'm getting a bit sick of people feeling like just because I have a baby bump that they are free to discuss my choices about birthing, breastfeeding, and other personal topics even if they are complete strangers.
I will say that it's one thing if I'm already discussing something and I've put it out there. I realize that opens me up for feedback (desired or not). However, when I am sitting at lunch trying to discuss Labor Day plans and someone interjects with "Are you planning to breastfeed? You should totally do XYZ." Umm...thanks, but no thanks. I don't recall asking for your opinion about what I will do with my breasts currently or after my baby gets here.
One of the main things that is getting under my skin is that no one wants to discuss the positive side to becoming a Mom. All of this advice and these opinions have centered around how awful everything is..."Get your sleep now. Go on dates with your husband because you'll never be able to do that again. Your nipples will bleed and you won't get a moment to yourself!" Thanks guys, but I'm actually kind of excited about my choice to bring a little person into the world.
I am trying desperately to focus on how amazing it is that I am growing another human. I am also trying to worry more about keeping myself healthy and having a safe delivery. Will I make mistakes? That's a given, but I can worry about all of the other stuff once she gets here.
It's frustrating to me that so many others have no idea what your struggle was to have a baby in the first place, but are so quick to complain about how their children get on their nerves or how they would never have any again. I'm sorry if you feel that way, but I have fought through tears and worrying and anxiety to even get to this point. The fact that I am currently pregnant is still a miracle to me and I am trying to enjoy it. I am well aware that life is going to change drastically for my little family once she arrives, but I intend to try to be as positive as I can. As most of you know, staying bright and happy has always been a struggle for me. I have been consciously trying to change my mindset and stay calm throughout this pregnancy. After she's born, I never want my daughter to feel like we made a mistake or that we don't appreciate the fact that God blessed us with her. I am going to try my best to appreciate that if I am able to breastfeed, that will be amazing and if I can't, I will feed her however I need to in order to keep her healthy. If you have positive advice and experiences to contribute or some legitimate tips once I realize I am struggling, please feel free to offer them up, but don't stop me mid-sentence to ask me about my breasts or my vagina. It's invasive and unnecessary...and please remind me of this if I ever try to be a Debbie Downer for you during your motherhood experience. Have a great Labor Day weekend and stay safe out there!
I will say that it's one thing if I'm already discussing something and I've put it out there. I realize that opens me up for feedback (desired or not). However, when I am sitting at lunch trying to discuss Labor Day plans and someone interjects with "Are you planning to breastfeed? You should totally do XYZ." Umm...thanks, but no thanks. I don't recall asking for your opinion about what I will do with my breasts currently or after my baby gets here.
One of the main things that is getting under my skin is that no one wants to discuss the positive side to becoming a Mom. All of this advice and these opinions have centered around how awful everything is..."Get your sleep now. Go on dates with your husband because you'll never be able to do that again. Your nipples will bleed and you won't get a moment to yourself!" Thanks guys, but I'm actually kind of excited about my choice to bring a little person into the world.
I am trying desperately to focus on how amazing it is that I am growing another human. I am also trying to worry more about keeping myself healthy and having a safe delivery. Will I make mistakes? That's a given, but I can worry about all of the other stuff once she gets here.
It's frustrating to me that so many others have no idea what your struggle was to have a baby in the first place, but are so quick to complain about how their children get on their nerves or how they would never have any again. I'm sorry if you feel that way, but I have fought through tears and worrying and anxiety to even get to this point. The fact that I am currently pregnant is still a miracle to me and I am trying to enjoy it. I am well aware that life is going to change drastically for my little family once she arrives, but I intend to try to be as positive as I can. As most of you know, staying bright and happy has always been a struggle for me. I have been consciously trying to change my mindset and stay calm throughout this pregnancy. After she's born, I never want my daughter to feel like we made a mistake or that we don't appreciate the fact that God blessed us with her. I am going to try my best to appreciate that if I am able to breastfeed, that will be amazing and if I can't, I will feed her however I need to in order to keep her healthy. If you have positive advice and experiences to contribute or some legitimate tips once I realize I am struggling, please feel free to offer them up, but don't stop me mid-sentence to ask me about my breasts or my vagina. It's invasive and unnecessary...and please remind me of this if I ever try to be a Debbie Downer for you during your motherhood experience. Have a great Labor Day weekend and stay safe out there!
I do not have any kids, so I really cannot say, but honestly I think maybe people feel the need to warn you about the negative aspects, because the positive aspects are a given and unable to be conveyed in words. (all the opinions though--ugh I've heard that's a bitch) I sent my sister an article when she was pregnant that said part of the reason we get so anxious about how to do it all properly in this country is because in a way it's one drawback to the great diversity of cultures we have is that there is no one way to raise a child and instead of just doing what culture/your family/or your mother taught you as occurs in many other countries, there is so much out there and everyone feels they need to read it all and then end up over-thinking it and getting stressed out.
ReplyDeleteAlso I have rarely, if ever heard anyone say they regret having their children, even with the tough stuff and negativity. I just think the feelings may be so much greater and more powerful that it's so difficult to put in words and convey to others. Just think how much more purposeful your life is becoming than it already was before this little baby came into it. I love my niece to absolute pieces so I cannot even imagine what being a parent must feel like. Best of luck. Keep writing and sharing it's wonderful.