Weight, What?!
I am having a little conflict with myself lately. I am still 15 lbs away from what I weighed prior to having baby Aurora and this is frustrating me. However, if I am being completely honest with myself, I am not really doing anything about it. I am coming to the realization that I HATE summer. I don't hate being off work and I don't hate spending a lot of time with my daughter, but I HATE the heat and humidity. If I had the choice of going outside for a walk up and down the hills in my neighborhood while pushing the stroller or putting my hand in the oven for 30 seconds, I think I'd choose the latter.
I am in a constant state of second-guessing myself. Do I put my 9 month old in the stroller slathered with sunscreen, in a hat that she hates and let her sweat it out so that I can get in some exercise or do we just stay inside and play? Staying inside and playing has most definitely been winning lately. We have been to the pool a few times, but this is not quite an aerobic workout for me because I am mostly trying to be sure that my tiny human is staying afloat, happy and not getting sunburned. This first-time-pseudo-stay-at-home-Mom stuff is no joke!
I had all of these grand ideas of working out to my T25 tapes while my girl played happily in her pack n play or while I had her in the carrier. Neither of those have happened much. I wish I could say that I have the motivation to work out after we get her in bed at night, but by then I find myself glued to the couch wanting to eat ice cream or potato chips. It's a vicious cycle.
Please don't misunderstand me, I am beyond happy to be a Mom and to be fairly healthy. I just want to make sure I am keeping it that way. I don't want to become a couch potato or a poor role model for my little lady.
This got me thinking about how I managed to keep myself in good shape before. I know when I was in my early twenties and still living at home with my parents, I worked out like a maniac - partly because it got me out of the house and partly because I was trying to keep myself busy. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship and was trying to get over it. This lead to coaching cross country at the high school I taught at, going to the gym on my way home and then taking my dog for at least a 30 minute walk after all of that on an almost daily basis. No wonder I didn't have to worry about my diet! I was on my feet for over 12 hours a day between teaching and working out. That obviously isn't happening now. I'd like to think it's because I'm living my life and not trying to escape from it.
I mostly feel like that's true; however, I know I have to take care of myself in order to be my best for my husband and my daughter. That is where I'm struggling right now. It is hard to find balance between being (what I envision at least) the perfect Mom, the perfect pet owner, an awesome wife, and an in-shape human being. One thing that I need to be honest with myself about is my diet. It's atrocious. I haven't been keeping up with counting calories or really put much thought into what I'm putting into my mouth.
I have never had a super-healthy relationship with food. I've run the gamut between starving myself to lose/maintain my weight, obsessively counting calories and binge-eating. I haven't balanced it very well and that's something I am still working on. These days, I am just trying to eat a variety of fruits, vegetables and proteins so I can be sure my daughter is getting what she needs as well. I don't want to be the kind of Mom (or person) that only focuses on what I'm eating or how much I'm working out. I want to love myself no matter how many extra pounds I may be working with. I also want my daughter to be able to see how beautiful she is, not because she fits into a size 2 but because she is an amazing human being.
I always feel like I'm doing a lot of rambling in this blog, but I appreciate you sticking with me to the end. Balance is something that I am going to try to discover and implement in the next month or so before I have to throw myself back into work. I hope that if you've been struggling with that too that you can find some solace in knowing you're not alone. Cheers to Fall only being about 2 months away!
I am in a constant state of second-guessing myself. Do I put my 9 month old in the stroller slathered with sunscreen, in a hat that she hates and let her sweat it out so that I can get in some exercise or do we just stay inside and play? Staying inside and playing has most definitely been winning lately. We have been to the pool a few times, but this is not quite an aerobic workout for me because I am mostly trying to be sure that my tiny human is staying afloat, happy and not getting sunburned. This first-time-pseudo-stay-at-home-Mom stuff is no joke!
I had all of these grand ideas of working out to my T25 tapes while my girl played happily in her pack n play or while I had her in the carrier. Neither of those have happened much. I wish I could say that I have the motivation to work out after we get her in bed at night, but by then I find myself glued to the couch wanting to eat ice cream or potato chips. It's a vicious cycle.
Please don't misunderstand me, I am beyond happy to be a Mom and to be fairly healthy. I just want to make sure I am keeping it that way. I don't want to become a couch potato or a poor role model for my little lady.
This got me thinking about how I managed to keep myself in good shape before. I know when I was in my early twenties and still living at home with my parents, I worked out like a maniac - partly because it got me out of the house and partly because I was trying to keep myself busy. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship and was trying to get over it. This lead to coaching cross country at the high school I taught at, going to the gym on my way home and then taking my dog for at least a 30 minute walk after all of that on an almost daily basis. No wonder I didn't have to worry about my diet! I was on my feet for over 12 hours a day between teaching and working out. That obviously isn't happening now. I'd like to think it's because I'm living my life and not trying to escape from it.
I mostly feel like that's true; however, I know I have to take care of myself in order to be my best for my husband and my daughter. That is where I'm struggling right now. It is hard to find balance between being (what I envision at least) the perfect Mom, the perfect pet owner, an awesome wife, and an in-shape human being. One thing that I need to be honest with myself about is my diet. It's atrocious. I haven't been keeping up with counting calories or really put much thought into what I'm putting into my mouth.
I have never had a super-healthy relationship with food. I've run the gamut between starving myself to lose/maintain my weight, obsessively counting calories and binge-eating. I haven't balanced it very well and that's something I am still working on. These days, I am just trying to eat a variety of fruits, vegetables and proteins so I can be sure my daughter is getting what she needs as well. I don't want to be the kind of Mom (or person) that only focuses on what I'm eating or how much I'm working out. I want to love myself no matter how many extra pounds I may be working with. I also want my daughter to be able to see how beautiful she is, not because she fits into a size 2 but because she is an amazing human being.
I always feel like I'm doing a lot of rambling in this blog, but I appreciate you sticking with me to the end. Balance is something that I am going to try to discover and implement in the next month or so before I have to throw myself back into work. I hope that if you've been struggling with that too that you can find some solace in knowing you're not alone. Cheers to Fall only being about 2 months away!
Hi! It's Jen. I totally hear ya, post mom bods are really hard to accept. I lost all the weight, but things will never be the same as pre baby. Things just are squishy and mom-like. I struggle with this and think of body image more than I would like to admit. I was just thinking the other day, what other amazing things would us women fill our minds with if body image was not in the picture? Hopefully one day women will be able to do that. Until then, I'll just keep fighting the good fight of balancing healthy mental health and healthy diet. (Typed while eating munchkins from dunkin haha)
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