Finding Joy
This may seem silly, but I watched an episode of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" this evening that just struck a chord with me. Seeing Khloe go through filing for a divorce because of Lamar's choice to stick with his addiction over her was very hard to watch, but I could definitely relate. It is so incredibly hard to put all of your effort into one person and one relationship for such a long period of time only to have it fall apart. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something to work, it just isn't in the cards. Her Mom said that she needed to focus on herself and "get happy again." I feel like that is what I've been working on for the past 6 months or so. Last year, I was in such a dark place financially and in my job. I thought I had an amazing relationship, but when that fell apart too I thought that I would just break. I felt like I was giving and giving and giving and nothing was coming back in return. However, I think I am starting to recover from all of that. I hope Khloe can get some peace in her life as well.
I am working two jobs that I really enjoy this year. I am so happy to have made the switch to a new school and a new grade level. I am starting to feel appreciated and like I am actually having a positive impact on my students. Teaching is not a job for the faint of heart and it is incredibly trying at times, but I am trying hard this year to focus on the positives and not get caught up in the teacher-to-teacher drama or the administrative stuff.
I am also incredibly thankful to have found a part time job at Wine and Design in St. Mary's County. It is such an amazing outlet for me both personally and professionally. It is really refreshing to help people create art just for the sake of enjoying it and not having to be critical of it. I get tired of having to worry about requirements and grading at school. It is awesome to have a venue for the pure enjoyment of art and socialization. It's even better that I get to make money doing it!
As far as my relationship, it is still a work in progress. I have my days when I feel so hopeful and full of joy that I could burst, then I have days where I wonder if the hard work is really worth it. However, I think everyone's relationships are like that. It is not easy to make a life with someone, but as they say "nothing worth doing is every easy." I know that I have never loved anyone as much as I love Ben and I really don't think that I will ever love anyone else. That is the thought that I try to hold onto when things feel impossible.
Instagram has a project that uses the hashtag "100happydays." It is a project where you are supposed to take a picture of at least one thing that makes you happy for 100 days in a row. I have been working on my own collection of photos and it is making me more aware of the little blessings in my life. I am incredibly thankful for my house, my family, my health, my friends, and my jobs. I am trying to uncover the joy in my life as much as possible. I hope that even when you're having a rough patch, you can find joy in something, however small it may be.
I am working two jobs that I really enjoy this year. I am so happy to have made the switch to a new school and a new grade level. I am starting to feel appreciated and like I am actually having a positive impact on my students. Teaching is not a job for the faint of heart and it is incredibly trying at times, but I am trying hard this year to focus on the positives and not get caught up in the teacher-to-teacher drama or the administrative stuff.
I am also incredibly thankful to have found a part time job at Wine and Design in St. Mary's County. It is such an amazing outlet for me both personally and professionally. It is really refreshing to help people create art just for the sake of enjoying it and not having to be critical of it. I get tired of having to worry about requirements and grading at school. It is awesome to have a venue for the pure enjoyment of art and socialization. It's even better that I get to make money doing it!
As far as my relationship, it is still a work in progress. I have my days when I feel so hopeful and full of joy that I could burst, then I have days where I wonder if the hard work is really worth it. However, I think everyone's relationships are like that. It is not easy to make a life with someone, but as they say "nothing worth doing is every easy." I know that I have never loved anyone as much as I love Ben and I really don't think that I will ever love anyone else. That is the thought that I try to hold onto when things feel impossible.
Instagram has a project that uses the hashtag "100happydays." It is a project where you are supposed to take a picture of at least one thing that makes you happy for 100 days in a row. I have been working on my own collection of photos and it is making me more aware of the little blessings in my life. I am incredibly thankful for my house, my family, my health, my friends, and my jobs. I am trying to uncover the joy in my life as much as possible. I hope that even when you're having a rough patch, you can find joy in something, however small it may be.
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