My Big Fat Fabulous Life
I am sitting here watching this show...My Big Fat Fabulous Life on TLC. It is absolutely fantastic! I am completely in love with Whitney and her appreciation of her body. She weighs close to 400lbs...although I'm sure she's shrunk some since the show started. I love her passion and her drive and I am in total awe of the love that she has for herself.
I have struggled myself, since I was in middle school, with body image. In the past few years it has really escalated because I've put on about 20lbs. The person that I see in pictures vs. the person I think I look like when I look in the mirror just don't match. I could make 5,000 excuses as to why this has happened...stress, lack of consistent exercise, not having the best diet...blah, blah blah. None of that matters. What matters is that I don't want to spend my life hating myself. I punish myself when I don't eat what I should and beat myself up when I don't exercise enough. That is not a way I want to live. I want to love myself. I want to appreciate that fact that I am a bit curvier around the edges that some other people. I want to not obsess about the number on the scale or the amount of calories in everything that I eat.
I've had issues with eating disorders in the past...mostly starving myself and/or binge eating and then obsessively exercising to not gain weight. I blame a lot of that on being an athlete. I never truly trained myself to nourish my body when I was in middle and high school. I just taught myself to survive on popcorn or vegetables for days on end until I got so hungry that I would binge. It was a sad cycle and one that I do not want to go through again. I have never been super tiny. I also experienced the whole "mean girl" situation in middle school and was told I was fat or not attractive enough multiple times. Unfortunately, I also dated people who were horrible for my self-esteem. I would lose weight and feel good and then be told that I still wasn't thin enough. I am incredibly thankful that my husband truly does love me the way that I am. I don't know where I would be without him in my life. Our relationship is in no way perfect...I don't know whose is...but it is the best one I have ever been in. In my current life, I have simply not had the time to devote to working out and I've gotten way too obsessed with calorie counting so I would either become overwhelmed and give up or restrict myself too much and go into the same cycle of binge-eating.
I recently made the tough decision to quit my job at Wine & Design. I absolutely loved working there, but my schedule was not always consistent and I am about to start coaching track again this Spring. I am striving to create some balance in my life and I need to make myself a priority instead of money or work or whatever else my crazy brain has been focused on. I am hoping this will give me more "me time" which I can use to work out, walk, paint, or do other things that feed my soul instead of just my wallet.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that this show is inspiring me to take a look at the inside of myself instead of stressing so much about my outward appearance. Thanks for being amazing Whitney! I wish you the best on your journey. If you haven't seen the show, check it out!
I have struggled myself, since I was in middle school, with body image. In the past few years it has really escalated because I've put on about 20lbs. The person that I see in pictures vs. the person I think I look like when I look in the mirror just don't match. I could make 5,000 excuses as to why this has happened...stress, lack of consistent exercise, not having the best diet...blah, blah blah. None of that matters. What matters is that I don't want to spend my life hating myself. I punish myself when I don't eat what I should and beat myself up when I don't exercise enough. That is not a way I want to live. I want to love myself. I want to appreciate that fact that I am a bit curvier around the edges that some other people. I want to not obsess about the number on the scale or the amount of calories in everything that I eat.
I've had issues with eating disorders in the past...mostly starving myself and/or binge eating and then obsessively exercising to not gain weight. I blame a lot of that on being an athlete. I never truly trained myself to nourish my body when I was in middle and high school. I just taught myself to survive on popcorn or vegetables for days on end until I got so hungry that I would binge. It was a sad cycle and one that I do not want to go through again. I have never been super tiny. I also experienced the whole "mean girl" situation in middle school and was told I was fat or not attractive enough multiple times. Unfortunately, I also dated people who were horrible for my self-esteem. I would lose weight and feel good and then be told that I still wasn't thin enough. I am incredibly thankful that my husband truly does love me the way that I am. I don't know where I would be without him in my life. Our relationship is in no way perfect...I don't know whose is...but it is the best one I have ever been in. In my current life, I have simply not had the time to devote to working out and I've gotten way too obsessed with calorie counting so I would either become overwhelmed and give up or restrict myself too much and go into the same cycle of binge-eating.
I recently made the tough decision to quit my job at Wine & Design. I absolutely loved working there, but my schedule was not always consistent and I am about to start coaching track again this Spring. I am striving to create some balance in my life and I need to make myself a priority instead of money or work or whatever else my crazy brain has been focused on. I am hoping this will give me more "me time" which I can use to work out, walk, paint, or do other things that feed my soul instead of just my wallet.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that this show is inspiring me to take a look at the inside of myself instead of stressing so much about my outward appearance. Thanks for being amazing Whitney! I wish you the best on your journey. If you haven't seen the show, check it out!
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