Sartober 5th
I just read an excellent quote on Pinterest. It says "The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." I have no idea who said this, but I feel like this sums up my life. I am in a constant internal struggle about what fulfills me as a person and what my mind thinks I should do.
Career wise, I am having a tough time right now. I love working with kids and teaching art. I just absolutely hate all of the hoops that I constantly have to jump through. During our advisory period today, I was able to sit and work with a small group of 5 students while they caught up on painting. It is so nice to just have conversations with my students and get to know them a little better. It's also nice to be able to answer their questions without being pulled in a million different directions. (It's a lot harder to do it in a class of almost 30 students, many of whom have multiple accommodations, which is normally the case.) THOSE are the moments that my soul craves. In my heart, I know that I have always wanted to make some sort of difference in the world. Even if it is only by impacting a small group of kids each quarter or each year, I need to be okay with that. I struggle with being "in charge" of our mentor program. I am so happy that I was able to start it two years ago and, again, I love working with those kids. However, I have had so many mentees stop by and ask when they will get to find out who their mentors are and when we will be able to have an activity. It breaks my heart to have to tell them that I simply don't have time every week to meet with them (as was the case last year too) and I honestly don't know if we will even have enough adults to fill all of the needs of our students. I try not to let this get me down, but it is a weight on my shoulders that I worry about a lot.
Anyway, let's get to the positive stuff. After school today all I really wanted to do was come home and sit on the couch and hide. The weather was just too gorgeous to do that though, so I laced up my tennis shoes and took Max for a nice walk through the neighborhood. I haven't had time to do much else today, but that walk made up for the frustration I was feeling at the end of the day. I wanted to go to kickboxing, but I couldn't bring myself to work out indoors today. I am now going to indulge in watching Wheel and Jeopardy like an old lady! Happy Sartober 5th!
Career wise, I am having a tough time right now. I love working with kids and teaching art. I just absolutely hate all of the hoops that I constantly have to jump through. During our advisory period today, I was able to sit and work with a small group of 5 students while they caught up on painting. It is so nice to just have conversations with my students and get to know them a little better. It's also nice to be able to answer their questions without being pulled in a million different directions. (It's a lot harder to do it in a class of almost 30 students, many of whom have multiple accommodations, which is normally the case.) THOSE are the moments that my soul craves. In my heart, I know that I have always wanted to make some sort of difference in the world. Even if it is only by impacting a small group of kids each quarter or each year, I need to be okay with that. I struggle with being "in charge" of our mentor program. I am so happy that I was able to start it two years ago and, again, I love working with those kids. However, I have had so many mentees stop by and ask when they will get to find out who their mentors are and when we will be able to have an activity. It breaks my heart to have to tell them that I simply don't have time every week to meet with them (as was the case last year too) and I honestly don't know if we will even have enough adults to fill all of the needs of our students. I try not to let this get me down, but it is a weight on my shoulders that I worry about a lot.
Anyway, let's get to the positive stuff. After school today all I really wanted to do was come home and sit on the couch and hide. The weather was just too gorgeous to do that though, so I laced up my tennis shoes and took Max for a nice walk through the neighborhood. I haven't had time to do much else today, but that walk made up for the frustration I was feeling at the end of the day. I wanted to go to kickboxing, but I couldn't bring myself to work out indoors today. I am now going to indulge in watching Wheel and Jeopardy like an old lady! Happy Sartober 5th!
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