From the inside looking out...

I have had to make one of the hardest decisions of my entire life this weekend. I have decided to call off my wedding and part ways with my fiancee. I realize that from the outside looking in this might seem confusing and strange; however, I think it is important to understand that you never truly know what people are going through even when you are close to them. We used to have a saying in our sorority "From the outside looking in you can never understand it and from the inside looking out you can never explain it." This is the truest statement that I can think of in my current situation.

All I know is that it is so hard to love someone with all of your heart and see them hurting because they do not love themselves the way that they should. It is heartbreaking. Now that I am 30 and have had my heart broken a few times, I think it is easier to understand that in order to experience love to the fullest degree possible, you truly have to love yourself. I didn't always know that or feel that. I can honestly say that I am beginning to love myself more than I have in a long time and that is helping me through this time in my life. That and a whole lot of praying and phone calls to my friends and family. I am also beginning to realize that when you need help or support in your life, you have to reach out to get it. It's easy to get caught up in your own mind and feel lonely, but people can't read your mind. You have to be willing to let them in and create a safety net for yourself. I am so thankful to all of my friends and family for providing me with that net. I don't know where I would be without you.

I know there will still be those days that I don't want to get out of bed because my mind will be in a dark place. However, just like I did on Friday, I will make myself get up, put on a smile and try to show other people kindness the best way that I know how because you truly don't know what anyone else is experiencing in their lives and they might just need a safety net for themselves. At this time of year, I hope that you have a group of people that you can surround yourself with who love you and support you no matter what you're dealing with. If you feel like you don't, pick up the phone and call someone that you haven't talked to in a while. They may surprise you with their kindness, or at least that is my hope for you.

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 14, 2013 at 7:10 PM

    Sarah, you are a brave women for putting yourself out there and I am really proud of you. So often I hide my struggles from the world and even my family bc I am afraid of how I will look to them. However, your willingness to be so candide has been a true inspiration to me and I want you to know you are in my thoughts. Good luck with your continued weight loss and self improvement goals. I am always here if you want to check up. And I am so sorry for your breakup.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Overthinking ItDecember 15, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    Thank you Lisa. I am just learning that if I put my feelings out there it usually helps me deal with them in a healthier way. I'm glad that I can help you in some way as well. Life is certainly not easy, but it's worth it and I definitely don't want to take it for granted. I appreciate your thoughts and your support.

    ReplyDelete

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