What does the heart say?
I hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas. I have been very blessed to be able to spend time with my family and see my nephew be super-pumped about Santa and baby Jesus. He sang Happy Birthday with a Santa candle to baby Jesus. It was adorable. Now, I am sitting at home watching Martin Short on SNL singing about it being the "sexiest time of the year." It is certainly amusing and ironic...
I can tell it's Christmas because I have successfully eaten my way through the day and now I feel like I need a pair of sweatpants. I am noticing more and more how much we all try to put on this facade that we have perfect families without any problems and we try not to talk about the hard stuff we've been through or the issues we are dealing with. I heard a really great quote on the radio the other day. Carlos Santana saw a news story about his former conga player being homeless and going through some addiction problems. The quote was, "sometimes we have family or friends who are misplaced. Not lost, just misplaced and showing them the least bit of kindness can inspire others to give kindness." Santana decided to seek out his former band-mate and get him some clothes, some new drums and an apartment. He wanted to help him get back on his feet. He didn't give up on him.
That is what's making me do a lot of thinking today. First of all, I feel like a lot of people are supporting my decision to cancel my wedding and separate from my fiance for a while. I appreciate that; however, I also hope that people will be understanding when I say that I refuse to give up hope that our relationship will work out eventually. I don't care if that sounds desperate or sad to you. In my heart, I know that Ben is the one person that I have dreamed about being with and I can't just give up and walk away. I don't know what my future is supposed to look like, but I know that I truly want him in it. I pray every day that he will get the help that he needs so that we can get our plans back on track. There are too many success stories out there for me to just call him a lost cause and let him go completely. I know that right now, us being separate for a while is what is best. I just have to listen to my crazy heart and pray that it will serve me well. I wish that love was easier.
I have watched so many people in my family and friends deal with heartache and unhappiness in their relationships. It is tough. My biggest concern is that it really does seem like love has blinders on sometimes. We are not always privy to all of the hidden secrets that our partners carry around with them and that makes things complicated. I feel like life and love would be a lot easier if we could be more transparent with one another. Even though it's difficult, honesty is really the best way to get through loving someone. Lying is what causes a lot of the rifts that I see in relationships. If we can first be honest with ourselves about what we want and what our expectations are of each other, that seems like a good place to start. I feel like Ben and I are hitting the "reset" button and taking one day at a time. That's all we can do right now. I pray that 2014 will bring health and happiness to all of you. Thanks again for taking the time to check out my two cents on things.
I can tell it's Christmas because I have successfully eaten my way through the day and now I feel like I need a pair of sweatpants. I am noticing more and more how much we all try to put on this facade that we have perfect families without any problems and we try not to talk about the hard stuff we've been through or the issues we are dealing with. I heard a really great quote on the radio the other day. Carlos Santana saw a news story about his former conga player being homeless and going through some addiction problems. The quote was, "sometimes we have family or friends who are misplaced. Not lost, just misplaced and showing them the least bit of kindness can inspire others to give kindness." Santana decided to seek out his former band-mate and get him some clothes, some new drums and an apartment. He wanted to help him get back on his feet. He didn't give up on him.
That is what's making me do a lot of thinking today. First of all, I feel like a lot of people are supporting my decision to cancel my wedding and separate from my fiance for a while. I appreciate that; however, I also hope that people will be understanding when I say that I refuse to give up hope that our relationship will work out eventually. I don't care if that sounds desperate or sad to you. In my heart, I know that Ben is the one person that I have dreamed about being with and I can't just give up and walk away. I don't know what my future is supposed to look like, but I know that I truly want him in it. I pray every day that he will get the help that he needs so that we can get our plans back on track. There are too many success stories out there for me to just call him a lost cause and let him go completely. I know that right now, us being separate for a while is what is best. I just have to listen to my crazy heart and pray that it will serve me well. I wish that love was easier.
I have watched so many people in my family and friends deal with heartache and unhappiness in their relationships. It is tough. My biggest concern is that it really does seem like love has blinders on sometimes. We are not always privy to all of the hidden secrets that our partners carry around with them and that makes things complicated. I feel like life and love would be a lot easier if we could be more transparent with one another. Even though it's difficult, honesty is really the best way to get through loving someone. Lying is what causes a lot of the rifts that I see in relationships. If we can first be honest with ourselves about what we want and what our expectations are of each other, that seems like a good place to start. I feel like Ben and I are hitting the "reset" button and taking one day at a time. That's all we can do right now. I pray that 2014 will bring health and happiness to all of you. Thanks again for taking the time to check out my two cents on things.
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